Rules of Civility

Show Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.

Kids like to freak each other out. They quickly learn how fun it can be to jump out suddenly from behind a corner or hide a garden snake in a classmate’s lunchbox. As adults they will learn that good relationships are built on trust. If you can’t trust your friends, who can you trust?  Yet pranks and practical jokes still happen all around us, in the movies, at home, or at the office, and they usually take place between friends. Though no harm may be intended, pranks and practical jokes can undermine trust.

Webster’s Dictionary defines a practical joke as ‘a prank intended to trick or embarrass someone or cause physical discomfort.’ Your friend may seem game for a laugh at his or her own expense, but you have no control over the way your actions will be received. Even the most harmless prank may be deeply hurtful to someone. To protect your friendships, it may be best to avoid practical jokes altogether.

Frank Manners articles address the 110 “Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation,” by which George Washington lived and present them in an applicable fashion, both for you, and your children.

Fidgeting and Other Behaviors

“When in company, put not your hands to any part of the body, not usually discovered”

With so many people in the United States, it would be impossible for everyone to agree on what is the correct way to behave in public. So, societal rules regarding behavior etiquette have evolved into a universally accepted norm in order for us all to peacefully tolerate one another. Knowledge of the acceptable ways to behave in a variety of social settings is an invaluable asset to one’s character.

A job interview is always dreaded. No matter how nervous you are this is not the time to fidget with your hands, phone, keys or anything else in your pocket. If you have an itch in an inconspicuous place, do not give into the urge. Wait, and the discomfort will shortly pass. Smile and sit with good posture during uncomfortable moments. Remember, you are there to advance your career, not stall it.

When at any meal, be it formal or casual, you must act in accordance. If a personal hygiene matter is bothering you, it is better to excuse yourself to the bathroom than tend to a failed bandage or torn pantyhose issue at the table. Also, never blow your nose at the table unless it is an emergency. Blowing one’s nose is also a matter when excusing oneself is appropriate. When eating, picking teeth is unattractive. The only exception is when the host provides a toothpick. Your goal is to be invited back, not banished from the host’s guest list.

In other social settings such as a party or in other public venues like a grocery store, always remember people are watching and judging you. This is not the place or the time to be biting nails, picking at infected scabs or practicing other filthy habits that will repulse others. Your peers will not soon forget these hideous images. Remember, the actions you present in front of others determine how you are viewed in society.

The developed society we are fortunate to live in has accepted these general principals as normal. Any deviation from the norm will only cheapen your reputation and you will only be hurting yourself.